Self Help : The anti-motto of a student assistant

Finally, it’s off my back. The constant state of apprehension, of nervous fear, it’s all behind me now. With the air of a murderer who’s just buried his crime, I heaved a sigh of relief as I placed the phone on the hook. It’s been two months, two months of conflict in my mind – Should I continue with my SAP (student assistantship) work or not? Well, today was the day I finally made the inevitable ‘choice’; I outsourced my work to a friend.

I’m not so much of a work shirker as I probably sometimes ought to be. But this is different, it’s just sheer patience testing. To type out dud programs and make presentations for someone else, a teacher though it may be, is maddening. I’ve struggled long enough, not with the magnitude of work, for I hardly did anything, but with the feeling deep inside that I was taking advantage of my teacher’s patience with me. In short, I knew I wasn’t doing justice to the job.

There just had to be a way out, and work shirkers don’t usually find it easily. I could just walk out anytime, but such brute is not my way of battling with life. Moreover, I need the certificate which comes with completing one semester of this job. So I spoke to a friend, asked him to do the work for me, whereby he’d get a major portion of the money, with enough for me for my immediate needs. Anyhow, this settlement is for the last month only, so I had already made my money in this job; not that I’m a person who cares much for money.

So there it was, the solution worked fine, so far at least. Reminds me of a line in H2G2:“If discretion is the better part of valour, cowardice is the better part of discretion. So Zaphod sneaked away and valiantly hid himself up in a closet”. A perfect example of how not to lead life. The teacher hasn’t noticed this subtle change of working hands, rather the typing ones; yet. As long as my friend keeps up his word, I get to sneak away, and with the certificate. Well, if he doesn’t, he’ll just lose his right to the money, and I can keep what I get. Ahh, salvation at last!