‘The argument you just won with your wife isn’t over yet!’
Is this a dull attempt at displaying wry witticism or words of wisdom, or both?
As a woman, I would quote the anti-thesis of the statement with great fervour and many of my friends of the same sex would agree.
Letting my ego rot, when I dispassionately analyze this, I see a win- lose situation always leaves loose ends in a fight (not an argument). These loose ends have the ability to tie knots with emotional distress, lack of communication, coldness in the air and tear-filled eyes.
Our Indian moms have a ready made solution to these situations. The girl must be demure, docile and should adapt to the needs of the ‘family’. Note: The ‘family’ often excludes the girl!
Back to my analysis- Today, rapidly increasing constraints and pressures often leave people with less time to think, even lesser time to react and counter-react. For example, one cannot make a loved one ‘understand’ in the midst of a critical meeting with the boss, one cannot cure insecurities in the midst of other uphill tasks, one cannot charm in the midst of an ever-present family!
How to deal with the insane number of disagreements and disputes? I wonder, if an overbearing- calmness/ silence is a solution to them. My communication books have volunteered information that is contrary. Never let the fissure widen, is supposedly, the mantra of the day.
Yup- life thankfully isn’t that bad. Heated conversations that I have observed often can be terminated with a little bit of patience and logical explanations, or even love (love, being the best cure!). When there is a mutual understanding about the individuals’ ability to make each other happy, the room for unpleasantness drastically shrinks.
Make way for the big L, I say!!
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