Black

Look up at night
Everything seems so black
vast space so infinite
And me, insignificant...

wandering out into the space
All I see is just black
Heavenliness on the surface
not a crevice not a crack ...

And then you feel
After all, you're not alone
Maybe there's
Life still to be searched.
Then you hope...

exploring the unexplored..
beyond the boundaries...
into the unknown..
past a point of no return..

Confined to space so dark,
epitomizing that what is blank
things around me look so stark..
with my mind very cark...

If given one chance
To turn around and go back,
it would lead to ignorance..
like the ends of the universe...

And then you feel
After all, you're not alone
Maybe there's
Life still to be searched
Then you hope...

exploring the unexplored..
beyond the boundaries...
into the unknown..
past a point of no return..

you would find the other world
the one you always hoped to see,
the place where you don't need to hide,
the anxiety growing within all the time..

darkness showing the way,
your soul ceases to sway,
upon seeing the distant light,
no one to explain your plight..

and as the speck of light fades away..
all i see is the sanctity of black..
darkness clouds around me ..
one last look into the unknown..

Reflections

What do you expect you will see?
Except for mirrors full of thee;
Don't have to look too far to reflect,
On all those thoughts you'd rather regret...

One fine day, I was jobless! :)

A day with the sun all so bright,
With my spirits seem so high.

I go do the thing I like to do,
hangin out at the basement,
playin my guitar all so loud!
Ahh, the day seems ever so nice.

We decide to go to the city,
the place we call home.
Destination all so unknown,
With everyone seemingly so happy.

Taking the tube for the race,
'gainst time, going so fast!
working away all so earnestly,
Will the day still seem so nice?

Looking up at the evening sky,
dusk beginning to set in !
The sky turning all so orange,
With everyone seemingly so happy.

Fade

Looking over the horizon,
All I see is the darkness.
Seeing over the city,
I see people schemin' n' planning.

Getting up every morning,
I realize the surprise that life is
The pain that I go through,
To be a symbol of hope.

You tend to be a short-lived hero,
Or be one long enough to be the villain.

Darkness
Absorbs me;
What ever happened to justice?...

Darkness
(Just) Haunts me;
Leaves me (without a trace)
Until I fade away.

Realizing my very self doubts,
Going through all the murky thoughts;
Fighting the many conflicts,
In a complex mind of hate.

The pain that drives you to
Be a man's worst nightmare.
The constant fear in my mind
With the conscience constantly drivin'.

Be the Hero
or the Villain.

Keeping the cards close to my chest,
The more mysterious I become...

The pain I see though,
Sorely hanging from a rope:
Which you hold dearly,
So that you can climb upon...

I was always the short-lived Hero;
And now, I am the Villain.

"Fish! Is that true?"

Today, I read an extremely interesting piece of speculative work. It goes something like this - imagine that there's this Amazonian electric fish, that is very intelligent, in fact as intelligent and sophisticated as you or I. However it has the special ability to perceive electric fields. It has this sense in addition to others such as taste, sight and so forth. Now, how does it communicate to us the way it perceives the world around it through the electric eyes? (pun unintended.)

If I were a superscientist from the future, I can study the entire process of the fish sensing the electric data, right from the sensors on its skin to the neural pathways in its brain.
I can map out the entire flow diagram and say, "Hey fish, this is what's going on in your brain."
The fish says, "Sure, that's what's going on. But I also feel electric field. Where's the feeling in that diagram?"
"What's that", I ask.
"That's part of the actual, ineffable experience of the field, which I can never seem to convey to you because you're totally field-blind."

We can study the neurophysiology of this fish and figure out how the electric organs on the sides of the body transduce electrical current, how this information is conveyed to the brain, what part of the brain analyzes this information and how the fish uses this information to dodge predators and so on. Fine, but we'll never know what it feels like to sense electricity. For us, it will always remain a third-person account.

For centuries, philosophers have assumed that this gap between brain and mind poses a deep epistemological problem - a barrier that simply cannot be crossed. Modern day devices such as the transcranial magnetic stimulator - an extremely powerful, fluctuating magnet that activates neural tissue with some degree of precision can be used to try out such experiments. People who have been blind from birth, and whose visual pathways in the brain haven't degenerated have reportedly perceived light through this device, even though their eyes are completely insensitive to brightness.

Consider now another possibility. Suppose there was some elaborate method by which the brain of the fish was directly linked to a strategic part of our brains, would we be able to perceive electricity? This procedure is theoretically possible. What then of the mind-body barrier that the philosophers were talking about?

Pink Floyd: High Hopes

Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had begun
Along the long road and on down the causeway
Do they still meet there by the cut
There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The nights of wonder

Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by the force of some inner tide
At a higher altitude with flag unfurled
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world

****

Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There's a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon
Though down this road we've been so many times

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist glowing
The water flowing
The endless river
For ever and ever.

The sixth 'dogma'

Now when I look back, though my semester wasn't one of the greatest, it is still a vivid recollection. It started off with a bang, what with my girlfriend and I going to movies bunking classes! And then, getting totally involved in my numerous projects, of which one of them being academic, the others being short term goals like finishing that next calvin and hobbes book! Then the trip to Chennai, for that national conference. This experience brought to me a whole world of academicians and their seriousness in their respective fields. Hmm... now coming to the bad, and the ugly parts of the last few months. The highlights must be placed on the terrible academics and the worse-still exams themselves, and not to speak, the spat with my girl. But as they say, all's fine when all's done. I happened to find myself with a job in hand. I got back my time and space, which I hadn'd had during my 'project days'. Now there's some time for breathing, not that I was stressed for time earlier, but yes, I was stressed about other things. But most importantly, i got my love, my life back. My hope, my feelings, my emotions... I got my 'self' back. This must be what they call "the armyman coming home" feeling. I am myself again. I can give, emote, laugh, feel and care for myself and my girl again. but look at the vagueries of life, all this I feel when she just returned back to Australia. That the sad thing though. Nevertheless, the number '6' has always had its effects on me ever since I learned that it is my numerological number (though I don't believe in stuff like that). Semester 6 has come and gone, my life had gone but has come back.